'Twas the fright before Christmas, and all through the crypt, not a creature was stirring, 'cept those being whipped.
Corpses were hung by their lips and their hair, in hopes that they'd give old Santa a scare.
The ghoules were nestled all snug in their beds while grave worms and maggets danced in their heads.
I slept in my coffin, wearing my shroud, dead to the world and snoring aloud. When out in the graveyard there rose such a shriek, I ran to the window and copped me a peak, and there on the lawn was a sight for sore eyes. Santa Clause caught in my Christmas surprise. A pool full of quick sand disguised snowy white. Soon dear old Santa would sink out of sight. His reindeer were straining to pull fatso free, and he urged them all as I chuckled with glee "Pull Dasher pull Dancer pull Prancer and Donner. If you don't pull me out, old Santa's a goner!" What strains they might they were just out of luck, when the Crypt Keeper sticks 'em, they tend to stay stuck. But then something happened would never believe, that little fat man had a trick up his sleeve, he reached in his pack and he called out to me, "Come closer I've got a few things you should see" and then though he'd sunk clear up to his chest, he pulls out these gifts, gifts for me no less!
"Here you go Crypt Keeper this gifts for you, a dead rotting ghoulfriend all oozing with goo, and a jack in the coffin for hours of delight, just open the lid and a stiff pops in sight, and here is a teddy bear all of your own, it's flesh has decayed and it's nothing but bone, and last but not least a box that's just right for storing your bulging old eyeballs at night, but I'm sinking fast, no time to palaver, Merry Christmas to you, you stinking cadaver!"
But I have to admit, that my ticker was touched, Christmas is one thing but this was too much! Something stirred in my heart, maybe once maybe twice, it felt really weird but it also felt nice. And then heaven help me I ran to that slop, gave chubbo a pull, out he came with a pop. "Thank you" he says, "for what you just did, you saved Merry Christmas for many a kid. You may be disgusting and falling apart, but there's something still good in that slimy old heart." Then he jumped on his slay, to his team gave a yell, and off they all flew like a bat out of hell.
As I waved I discovered a problem I've got, now I was in quick sand and Santa was not. Struggling was useless for this creepy dude, yet I was still happy, in a real Christmas mood, and that is why I said as I sank out of sight, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good ~*gurgle gurgle gurgle*~
The Crypt Keeper
Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas